I hate this feeling....
I feel that i'm left alone now...
No more sch...
I feel that i don't have friends...

Back to square....
Back to Desperate club.... :(
I thought i can be happy and xin fu...
Never thought this day will come
But it still come...
And i couldn't stop it to happen...
Cos i'm not the one who make decision but the one who must accept the truth...
Sad right...
who wouldnt wan to be the one who make decision...
Siewping!!!!
Jus accept the fact...

I Miss you yet i can't tell u...
I got hurted once but the pain is still bearable...
I thought that pain was healed when we tgth...
But it's jus adding on now...
And i never think much what if our r/s dont goes well when u accepted me...
One thing i couldnt accept is u dont love me...
Ya when we got tgth, i did suspect tat you dont love me at all..
But u keep saying i really love u la...
so i didnt think much wad if one day u dont love me le...
For u, u of cos wont hurt more than me...
You can jus recover fast and move on...
How i wish i can be like u.. say let go jiu let go... very xiao sha...
BUT me... say let go just let go meh...
if it is so easy then in the first place i dont love u at all...
All along is me who choose to shou hou by ur side and care for u...
So when i got hurt, it's jus my own fault...
I am just too Silly...

Ok i am trying not to think too much..
really trying hard...
On a brighter notes...
I went out wif my sis ytd !!! and wif her bf too...
the last time i went out wif her is dont know when...
So my sis loves to buy clothes... her wardrode not enough space for her to keep her clothes...
Went to fareast first...
so she bought like 3 top in one shop...
den 1 more at wisma...
She is ai mei...oops... haha... she likes to doll herself up...
but i am totally diff from her...
i am very casual wif my wearing...
only tat time when i first work, she taught me how to make up...
The first time i stepped into club is her who brought me in..
haha...
She is always my lovely sister!!! im always proud of having her as a sister cos she is pretty..
and she dote on me... <3
3 of us share one cup of honey lemon wif pearl at fareast...
den when we reached wisma...
Sis's bf... Brian...
He is so funny..
He is looking for mineral water but in the end he bought Mr bean pancake and bungdon soyabean wif pearl...
so me n my sis "Eeee"... jus now already drink now still drink tat...
my sis keep asking me to try and my reaction is No! No!No!
haha

Went to watch Priest and its not a bad movie...
And i found out ytd Passion card really costs $7 per ticket only.. and a free small popcorn...
so next time when i watch movie i shall bring my passion card out...
Next movie to watch... Pirates of the Caribbean..

Had Thai Express for dinner...
Tom Yum soup...
Bloated!Delicious!

Im always goaless in my life...
so im setting my goal now...
Find a job...
Earn $...
Spend but Save $ too...
Go Bangkok with sis...
Find someone who love me more than i love him...

Lastly, if u happen to read this post...
i want to say Sorry that even now we are frens... i will still continue to care for u...
so u are unable to shake me off from ur life... lol...
cos u are one of the importance person in my life tat i want to cherish...
haha

Happen to come across this song which express how i feel now...
Shi Xin Hui- Ni Mei Xiang(3) Xiang(4) Zhong Ai Wo...

Going SGH tml for my appointment...
Really scared...Fear...
Now i really scared of seeing doctor...
I finally can know wad happen to my tongue...
Pray for me... Hopefully no problem at all...

It's so near yet so far...
All along im besides ur life...
Can u feel ur heart and tell me all along wad am i to u?
Have i place an impt role in ur life?
Or you jus treat me like normal fren? Or im just one sided all the time?
Am i someone who make u feel fan?
Still rmb the first time u hold my hand...
The day when i acc u go converse warehse sale...
My heart beats very fast and u said my expression so funny...
Ya things are always sweet at first...
Things start to change...
Alot of factors tat cause all these...
Time spend tgth...
activities we do...
Work...
thinking and lifestyle...etc
You said we dont have much topic... have u thought before is just whether we want to talk more and not becos we have no topic?

I just couldn't accept the fact that u said u totally dont have feeling for me...
not even abit???
A little?
It's a huge hit on me...
Though i know i shld accept the fact and move on...
But there will always be time when i emo... if i dont emo at all something is wrong...

I really sincerely hope tat we can still be fren... I cherish u alot... Even last time as a fren, u are always my listener... I really appreciate... I don't wish u to disappear from my life just becos of this thing... its not worth it...

How i wish now i'm drunk...
Can anyone tell me good news...
Unable to smile...
Poor appetite...

One word to describe my life now is SHIT!
Ya really painful... hurtful...

Last SUN woke up 530am in the morning and alot of people still having their beauty sleep...
I have to help out at the cc to distribute the goodies bag but ended up i just have to replenish those goodies bag on the table... These people acted like they are so hardworking giving out the goodies bag tat WE packed on the other days... The few of us(ard 7ppl) packed for 800 over goodies bag for 2hrplus... I broke my nail and luckily it was just the top part and not the inner part... Working so hard to get things done but never even see these people turn up to help and pack... Instead on the actual day, they are soo "hardworking"...