Where is the old siewping?
Last time im more sporty go training wif my teammates, having fun playing badminton wif them..
More hyper and crazy when im with frens..
Now.
I rather be quiet...
How i wish i know a kind and rich guy who is so nice to bring me oversea and cheer me up... But obviously im just daydreaming...
*slap slap*
wake up siewping...
face the reality...
if u let me choose again..
i rather i dont wan to get into bgr in the first place...
though im desperate, bgr will only hurt ppl...
super super painful process but now regret all these are useless...
i could only be more clear minded when it comes to bgr next time...
even if no matter how hard i cry each time, its not enuf. my tears can just dry up easily but the pain jus wont get away...
only if i can overcome myself. stop hating u, having pingchangxin smile to u when talk... this is the day when i let down everything...

Siewping just accept the fact tat the world is cruel. Dont hope for ppl ard u to care for u. when u expect someone to show care n concern to u but they dont instead they show their care to someone who is besides u. Worst thing is someone tat is jus besides u, someone i know. so much care tat u show her is so obvious. Even me standing at one side, i could see clearly...
Interpreting from the way u chose to treat me, one thing i can only say is... to u, i dont deserve any care from u so u dont even need to bother abt me. Ya u can do wad u like. u dont have to force urself doing things u hate. if i ask for care n concern from u, its impossible, it like a HATE for u... if u care for me i tink i will win lottery like few millions...
Ya im quiet. no matter how i couldnt join in the convo. Is my own fault. In the end i got left out cos i zhi you zhi qu. it appears tat i didnt lose alot of things but in fact i lost alot. im no longer cheerful like last time and more. im trying not cos of my dead dead sian sian face to affect ur.. trying to smile n all if i can... if i affect the mood of ur i say Sorry! i didnt meant to be...
i dont get it. sometimes ppl mingming get alot of care from others yet they still dont feel satisfied.
Living in this world really very tired...
first time in my life i gotten such a huge blow in my 20th life from u...
ya im dependent. im NOT INDEPENDENT!
ya i must learn to accept all the sadness by myself when im dependent for the past 19years... hard to straightaway do so but i will try... even though my nature is very emotional i will still try!
FROM NOW ON I WILL LEARN TO BE LESS DEPENDENT n BRAVE IN DOING THINGS.
always let u jian ta me... if u feel tat u will feel happy jian ta-ing me jus continue...

U said u need time to really tune back normal. next time maybe u will be normal to me but not now. ok wadever. i shldnt bother so much now also. it will make me more terrible...

Wednesday
Ever since we graduated... the clique only left wif me, mel, deanna and zg who have frequent meet up as compared to the rest...
haix... i dont like the feeling of separation but wad to do.. its alway part of our life...
Having the intention of tanning until my skin turn char da.. haha
but the weather is so cloudy... so i didnt get tanned at all.. dissapointing...
Eat astons after tat...
Went pooling...
super long i didnt pool..
the last time i pool? really dont rmb...
So i had fun wif them...
Went to find weichiang after tat den go home...

Yesterday which was Saturday...
I worked morning and my eyecandy also...
sometimes i will turn over look at his counter den weichiang said if not u hide behind the wall den peek at him... -.-
den he demostrated how... haha
so he did this a few times whenever i say abt my eyecandy...

when i was doing nothing suddenly *Piang* i heard the sound of plate/bowl dropped on the floor...
weichiang was standing there cutting nougart i think so i ran over see wad happen and i purposely want to make him curious so tat i can say him Kaypoh...when i am also kaypoh-ing
*raising my neck*
I see nothing... at the same time i saw my eyecandy also kaypoh-ing lol..
jus when i said Kaypoh lei to weichiang my eyecandy turn back and look at me...
Aww~ den his face expression is like smile smile one...
really brighter up my day...
he looked at me, i errr awkward feeling... *blushing* :)

this few days walked over to lucky plaza have my lunch/dinner...
finally had the Chao Zhou Zha Jiao Mian... yummy...
last time i dont like to eat Fried fish slice bee hoon but now i love it...

Its 26thJune!!! Cant wait for my pay to come in and this time im going to do an atm card...
if i tell ppl i dont have atm card they confirm laugh at me...
even last time when i sell fragrance all my $$ go in my bank a/c tat is under my dad's name...
so this time i wont be so silly, i will open one a/c and earn lots of $ save lots of $
like this i will feel more secure when i go out...

I think my memory also getting poor... Deteriorating in process...
Tml SGH appointment... Argh!
can i dont go... when i tink of stepping in there again i totally sian diao...
Hate it!!!

I seriously dont know wads wrong wif my mom...
she quarrelled wif my dad ytd and im not bias but i still feel my dad not totally at fault...
and jus now she scolded me... and say some nonsense...
Hello... when u can cherish ur life can u jus cherish!
some ppl wish to survive but they couldnt...
i swear after i quit my current job i will soon go work for others...
i know u are very xinku... now i working but i dont earn alot...
i willl at least give u some $ and tat can shut ur mouth also...
i appreciate how much u invested on me since pri sch..
u let me tuition and tat make me have a quite smooth journey in my studies..
i never say i wont xiao shun u.... I WILL!!!

You said before we dont have topic to talk... so after tgth... you found out we are so different...
Different doesnt mean we cant talk like last time crap all these as a friend...
Seeing u having so much topic wif others but not me...
This reflected tat im just a stranger...
I agreed with this sentence...
To me, you are my bestfriend. BUT to u, im not...
i told u before u are my listener since last time and whenever i grumble to u, u will reply and show ur care...
but now...
wadever things regarding abt me... i told u.. u jus ignore dont bother to reply me..
this shows wad...
u are showing me tat oh u jus read wad i sent u and den u dont have to care abt wad i say abt me...
ya.. its not ur business of cos u wont wan to care...
i told u before... dont draw ur line too clear until tat u dont even show fren care...
and u said ya i know... u sure u know anot...dont seems like...
when our mutual fren post anything in fb u will comment...
since when u will comment mine...
do u have to be like this...
and tat day u said u are sure last time during schooling we seldom msg...
but i tell u, schooling usually msn... if not wkend i will msg u...
and tat time when i am having handfootmouth i also msg u quite alot...
u still say we seldom msg...
u know u have poor memory...
are u sure u never rmb wrongly...
when we tgth i msged u alot but other than tat lei...
in the clique i contact u the most...
i know im not ur bestfriend...
no matter how much i do for u, care for u, how much we been thru, i will never be ur bestfriend...
only her, who u like, u treat her as ur bestfriend..
u are jus bias...
now im not bringing out the things when we are tgth but when we last time as gd fren.. and now...
Is u ended it.. ok... nvm.. i shld be the one who got hurt most...
but i still request again n again telling u tat i hope u dont treat me so cold..
telling u can u not hurt me anymore...
i jus wish u can like last time crap joke...
ya something happened tat can cause changes...
but like i said before...
our friendship is so fragile?
jus becos of tat thing u change ur attitude towards me...
u become more frustrated to me..
when we are gd fren...
u never fierce me. NOW! u fierce me.. u dont fierce others but me...
is it fair for me anot...
did i do anything wrong tat u have to fierce me now...
unless when the day i find tat u really tune back, if not i will still bother abt how u treat me...
everyone know tat friend , to u, they are important..
u show tat u cherish them..
but since when u cherish and appreciate me..
if u do, now, u will treat me even nice as good friend...
i told someone before...
even if i die, u also wont bother...
die jiu die lor... right...
i could only conclude one thing...
im always 1sided and bu yao lian..

Like this song
你把我灌醉 －陈洁仪

喔爱让我变得看不开
喔爱让我自找伤害
你把我灌醉你让我流泪
扛下了所有罪我拼命挽回
你把我灌醉你让我心碎
爱得收不回

credit from http://mp3.sogou.com/lyric.so?query=%C4%E3%B0%D1%CE%D2%B9%E0%D7%ED%20%B3%C2%BD%E0%D2%C7&lyricId=7cf5e18326791f45&w=02009900&dr=1

Also thank you Dad!
wkend most likely u will send me to work...
Most of the time im afternoon shift so when u free, u will come fetch me when i knock off at 930pm...
i can see u very anxious abt me especially after knowing from the doctor...
u ask me to eat well.. eat more meat ... dont this n that dont wan eat...
I will takecare of myself... dont worry...

I want to talk to my eye candy but i dont have the courage... haha
Anyway today and tml OFF...
Jio weichiang n liy out for Kkkk cos i dont want to stay at home if not my mind will went haywire...
Sorry to wake u up LEOWWEICHIANG!
Thanks for giving me face to come haha cos u last night sang and u today sing again...

Went to my medi apptment last fri...
Doctor said i have low red blood cell and abit low zinc..
Iron deficiency aneamia..
so she prescribed iron pill n vitamin to me...
i still need to go back again n again..
really sickening and troublesome...
I really dont want step into hospital again but still...
sounds not very serious rite aneamia but my tongue still the same...
so got to find out wads the cause of it...

A kind soul helped u say good word abt u...
Saying maybe u jus dont know how to react and im not a shit in ur life...
i seriously dont know wad u thinking...
Keep saying is U the problem and not me...
I dont know u r really guilty or jus happily living out there...
I see u living so happily now.. when u told me u couldnt totally treat nothing happen but i see ur life now... u are living well n happily dont seem like u still couldnt forget the past...
Hoping u dont hurt me more but u said u couldnt do well perhaps becos of some barrier...
My heart dont know broke into how many pieces by u...
U happy...
I just having a very NAIVE thinking... thought tat u said u feel guilty and thought becos of it u will treat me better as fren but .. u are unable to talk to me caringly and still cold...
i really dont ask for much...But for u i think u feel tat im asking too much...
I jus hope u can say caring word sometimes when i msg u... but like i said, ur reply r jus like for the sake of replying me... ya im glad u tried replying all my msg...Maybe u jus need really sometimes for u to cool down and talk to me normally... as long u talk to me normally i wont dig out the past... u tink its fun for me to keep saying those things meh... im also very sick n tired of it... last time tgth i already feel very tired jus tat u initiated to end first before i say...
I told u i wont say all these to u again in sms but i still can blog it. u dont like u dont read...
At least writting down make me feel better...
U are someone tat affect my mood the most...
its super terrible when im actually sad but still i need to wear the smile on my face smiling to customer when serving them...it made me feel even more emotionally tired...Sometimes i really try very hard not to think if not this wont help me forgetting the past..
I give u time to tune back...
But can u jus promise me u will tune back normal but jus a matter of time?

I think my 2 eyecandy only work morning shift? so weird... never see them work afternoon shift before...
Yesterday 1 of them which is the one beside beside my counter haha...
he wore black shirt.. usually he wears white long sleeve...
he looks more handsome in black.. haha

Im feeling very terrible... really hate this feeling...
Ya i shouldnt demand more from u... I shld be glad tat u did reply my msg...
but its always i ask what u answer what...
its like i dont know how to describe the feeling u give me... ya rather cold i can say cos u dont ask me much also...
Do u have to do until so cruel...
Give me such a shitty ending already very hateful...
Why cant u jus treat me like tat time when u trying to mibu me when u happen to know i sad n cried cos of ur...
U happy la hor... Made someone into this state cos of u...
HAPPY LA!
If u got ren xing, u will treat me better than last time...
but u dont...
As wad i mentioned in my previous post, we wont get back to normal if we dont contact be it sms or wad... we will become more stranger... its true tat we must let nature take its course but sometimes jus a random chitchat also nice wad...
Why there's such a person like u...
When tgth already cant give me the secure i wan..
now... jus some intiative to care abt me also cant?
Can u jus for the sake of me..Help me...
I dont want to feel so terrible anymore...
U just have to sometimes text me random talk wif me...
talk to me nicely can le...
is it too difficult?
not like i ask u to cut ur fresh out...
jus a small request...

Work for 1week plus already...
We all dont really like tat fulltimer...
Always act in front of our boss...
tat day stay back helped out the gift and he said like im unwillingly tieing the ribbon cos he sees my face so black -.-
Hello who say i bushuang...
im just thinking of other things...
stop assuming things...
And stop being so zi yi wei shi...
teach me how to tie ribbon on the box...
not like i totally dont know...
You are not flexible at all..
the boss taught u wad, u jus si si follow...
Also dont be so longwinded la...
Doesnt mean i am new here alot of things i dont know...
i consider quite fast in learning those things...
even the most difficult word Baklavias i could pronounce correctly whereas alot of ppl couldnt..
And u always pai ma pi...
*shake head*

Ytd saw the other eye candy :)
but his working hr is like weird also...
but at least i know he still working for tat counter...
haha i sounds so desperate... nowsaday posts keep saying abt my eye candy...
but its a good motivation for me to go work...
HAHA

Tml my next medical appointment and i hope its really my last trip to hospital...
I will know my blood test result...
Scared!
After tat if everything is fine i will plan to go oversea liao...
Weichiang, Ahliy and Ahfang! BANGKOK... end july or august!

There's a "guy" working at Godiva and we all are so curious if he's a male or female...
so we asked ridwan...
he said:' He's a male, but maybe he's confused of his sex...'
Me laughing non-stop sia...
He used CONFUSED this word to describe...
so me n weichiang keep using the CONFUSED word..
like when we are blur we said we r CONFUSED!
this word really made me laughed like mad...
so when we told Nick he also joined in to use this word...
haha

And i bluff Ridwan tat im a lesbian..
haha
ytd i worked same shift as him
so he asked me again so am i really a lesbian
so i laughed and said YA!

I think my the other eye candy not working le :(
Ytd was a bad morning...
Came 1 caterpillar bus but FULL...
Came another short bus but FULL...
waited like 10-15min later finally i boarded bus...
so i reached ard 935am... luckily i dont need to punch card...
so my eye candy also working morning shift :)
the whole morning was so quiet..
no customer and finally i opened 1 bill!

by right 6pm i could knock off.. but i rather stay back awhile to help out the gift thingy...
make myself busy...
i really wan Mazhui myself with work...
i hate it when im eating alone i will tink of u...
seeing u drinking wif ur fren suddenly this come to my mind...
u said u wan cut drinking le.. but we all know friends are very impt to u...
if they ask u out or go drinking u wont reject...
anyway i also dont have the right to bother this...

now i totally didnt msg u since tat day...
i was thinking if this continue we wont be back to gd fren anymore..
cos we dont contact each other...
this thing really frustrating me...
thinking hard wad shld i really do...
last time as a fren when im sick u still will unexpectedly msg me caring How am i? feeling better...
but now...
u also wont ask me How's my work..
u jus freaking enjoying ur life...
do u know this kind of feeling is damn terrible...
U can even treat a jus know fren better than me ba...
tats y i was saying im nothing to u at all...
I am jus a SHIT in ur life...
still say wad guilty to hurt me...
den cant u jus treat me nicer as a friend...
u hurted me so much when we tgth couldnt u now as a normal friend jus treat me nicer...
why are u always so selfish!
still say u are not happy to see me suffer...
now im suffering... trying not to tink of u so ping ming work...
weichiang still said jus record down the time i left work..
and i said:' Dont need, it's me who volunteer to stayback so i wont take this money.'
i rather make myself busy wif work than going home thinking abt u...
The best way to make me stop being so terrible is YOU! Can u not be so cold to me...
If u still dont know how to face me now but cant u jus msg me sometimes asking how m i...
jus becos we broke... our previous friendship also Break?
our friendship so fragile? i dont mean anything to u in ur life...
ya lor... u have so many friends beside u in ur life...
without me this fren its alright for u...
since im jus a SHIT!
You will never know how is the feeling like when u feel so yuan wang and feel tat u dont deserve this kind of cold treatment but still i get this kind of ending...

Can u just treat it as doing charity?
Stop making me feel even terrible...
u know very well all along u are an impt friend to me...
i know very clear if u care for me it's really purely friend care and not others...
i didnt put in any hope tat we can patch back cos i know it wont happen...
i jus wan be ur friend...
ur Good friend!
And u said before... friend dont have expectation...
but ME...
thing had happened and we couldnt change the fact that we once tgth
jus becos u dont have feeling for me
u could jus throw me away?
Throw me to the bottom of ur fren list stated as STRANGER?
im diff from ur previous gf...
u cant treat me like how u treat her...

Can u jus show sympathy to me...

Just treat it as doing charity?

Morning shift today...
Very tired...
Nua at the sofa and slowly bite the cheese cake tat mom bought...
Prepare and off i rushed to busstop to wait for 190...
still alot ppl...
i managed to squeeze in...
Really very sleepy but when i think of my 2 eye candy at my workplace there...
so i reached counter and didnt see them...
finally 1 came and today the other didnt work... :(

So do the usual stuff...
cut nogurt, refill dragee etc...
Lunch i ate Yoshinoya wif my neighbour... haha...
he's from NP... also waiting for NS..
so he was grumbling abt his boss...

After work went home to take Fel's present and passed it to her at her house..
Her house is super beautiful and big...
From terrace to bungalow...
Envy... hehe...
Sorry Fel... at first going for ur party but im celebrating father's day...
Meet up again ok?
Ky represented 3 of us...
haha

Ate Mahantann Fish Market...
The food so so only...

And i told sis next time she goes Shanghi Dolly must bring me along...
haha den she said there is for old ppl de...
but wad i know from her there's live band singing chinese song...
I love to listen to chinese live band...
so ya... I must visit to Shanghi Dolly soon... :)

Tml afternoon shift :(
I think my eye candys are morning shift even if they work cos i didnt see them work afternoon shift before and their working time are weird also...
Calculate my pay so far... still not bad...
Continue jiayou ba...

Nowsaday when i saw my phone there's msg, i really hope its from u..
but its dissapointing cos its not...
Sadded...
If i dont take initiative to msg u, u also wont msg me...
even if you as a friend ask me 'How is work?' I will be super happy le...
but u didnt cos u draw ur line very very clear... Do u know this kind of feeling really S***...
Couldnt be couple forever was already very sad...And im very clear tat i have NO more hope anymore...
Now becoming back to friend is really so hard... I really want things to back to normal...
As long our friendship can slowly turn better my wound will heal 1 day...
If our friendship worsen, my wound will never heal cos this even shows that becos of wrong decision made in the first place has caused a bad unwanted consequences...
Today 12th June suppose to be our 6mths but we didnt last till here...
this is my first r/s, i will rmb this date 12th when the day i got tgth wif u and 7thMay, the day u broke wif me...
Can u please come talk to me? Treat it as sympathy to me can?

Yesterday Afternoon shift...
reached the counter and the sales are really bad..
so 3 of us panic but end of the day, the sales amount managed to reach the daily average amt...
Phew~
And...
Everyone working there will at least get Kiap by the nougat drawer...
I Kiap my left middle finger because i pulled out the top drawer and at the same time with the top drawer pulled out, i pulled out the drawer tat was jus below it... so tats it.. "Ouch"
so i tried to be careful again...
Second time comes~
anxiously pulled out the drawer...
KIAP!
This time its not my left middle finger, its my right 2 fingers...
"Ouching" very loud...damn it...
It's super duper Pain!

When i reached home... my dad fry noodle so i smell gas stove smell in the toilet and
i said :' Ba... Mei Qi Wei.. den he said No? so i turned my head out of toilet and smell the kitchen.. really No... so i turned back..
Bang! i hit my head against the wall super hard...
I hit somewhere near my left eye but luckily is at the tail of my left eyebrow... if not i tink i will turn blind ... and now its swollen...
I think yesterday im very reckless.. super Gong!
I still scared i will get concussion lol...

On a happier side...
Choco aunty gave me try her Macadamia nut with red wine coating choco...
Also some other new flavour choco...
their choco are healthy cos its sugar free and their choco are selling by pieces and not gram...
some 1 small choco can cost up to $6-$7?
which is like my 1 hr pay..
haha
but tat nice aunty everyday let us try...
keep asking us "Gurl/Boy want to try my chocolates.."
HAHAHA

Yesterday i drank 2 small cup of coffee..
haha
this time the coffee aunty will make the coffee and bring it to our counter...
Thanks aunty...

And~
There is one customer who ate our sample pastry from...
Weichiang was serving him and i standing at the side and the customer suddenly did something and i was shocked and so weichiang also... after the customer walked away...
me n weichiang keep laughing so Nick asked" wad happen"
and we said and laughed non-stop
den he said Dont keep laughing at tat customer la... very evil lei..
everyday will definitely have some funny weird things happen...
and so far working with the 2 guys are fun...
we joke n crap...

And...
My working area there's a handsome guy... haha
Eye candy...
but his counter is beside beside mine...
I can only see him when i walk to toilet...
haha
in fact actually from my counter i still can see him...
haha... side view...
ok.. i Fa Hua Chi again...


And...
I please you...
can you dont be cold to me anymore when the next time i see u?

Yesterday full shift was tiring...
becos both lady boss came to the counter so i couldnt slack...
have to keep standing outside counter shouting Hi Madam, any nougart/pastry for u?
keep turning left n right to look out for customers...
Had my lunch alone.. I hate it...
Bought the korean cripsy cutlet and went to the fountain near taka square sit down and eat
Damn full after tat went toilet n back counter again...
so i continue call out for customer to try out product...

Finally boss left n i could slack awhile inside the counter....
Dinner i only had 1 stick of toriQ?
den i did washing and Nick did closing...

I jealous of people who get attention from others naturally...
sometimes i want to get attention from ppl but none gave....
Sad right...
From last time since i like u... i always hope u can sometimes lay ur eyes on me.. but did u?
U would always lay ur eyes on other gurls but not me...
and miracely, at least for tat 3mths u did really look at me...
after tat worst thing in my life had happen...
things back to square one or i could say turn worser than before...
U dont talk to me.. i dont talk to u...sometimes i msg u, u did reply but ur reply is so short...
tats y i said im so thick skinned and chi tao ku chi...

seeing u talking to others so happily...
and im so quiet there...
I dont know y i should torture myself like this...
already know tat i will be left out still.... maybe if i try to join in but u also wont bother abt me
I was trying very hard to make things become better but i think its becoming worst...

Sometimes ppl who can get attention from others should feel fortunate cos at least ppl look at u... and u... u always get attention from the ppl ard u, u where will know how it's feel like when noone pay attention to u...

Me... posting anything in my fb... posting anything in my blog... i doubt ppl will see it...
Now i just continue this job since i work most of the time seldom off...
and den i can plan an oversea with maybe jieliy,lifang,weichiang...
Bangkok!!! Their clothes are super cheap there and fashionable...
and i swear... if tat trip comes true.. i will throw away those ugly clothes...
sometimes have to dote on myself.. make myself happy by wearing pretty clothes..pretty shoes...pretty accessorities... since i am NOT pretty at all be it inner/outer no wonder cant attract u.. ok im ugly.. unlike my sis... so many suitors..

Ok today my 5th day of work :D
hmm.. im still doing quite ok at my workplace?
at least i start knowing my neighbours...
haha
ytd the whole day, from morning till night i was staring at the coffee opp my counter...
and finally the aunty asked me... Xiao Mei u wan try our coffee... Yes!
and their coffee is nice! very smooth abit of bitternesss..

Gotten a new job at taka basement2 selling nougarts,pastry and choco...
Fri, first day of work... weichiang asked me work full shift so i went to the counter during morning... den the counter has so many ppl... so i shld be working afternoon shift... becos of some communication error lor... make me have to wait until 1pm den go back counter again.. come early didnt get paid...
I learned the diff types of pastry, how to be a cashier, how to pack and weigh things etc...

2nd day of work,Sat
Worked morning shift after work went home to eat dinner and prepare to meet the rest for drinking...
Went to White bar and i only sang 1 song...
At first just wan to drink as much as i can but next day i got to work so i cannot drink too much
wasted this time becos this time i could stay outside overnite...
Dedrick and brendan drunk.... they are super scary...
i wonder wad will i do when im drunk?

3rd day of work, Sun
Afternoon shift with weichiang...
he is so angry with tat guy cos he threw away his 1.5L water so he revenged...
he put in small sample into tat guy's water bottle...
Me and Nick scared tat later he found out den we are doom!
weichiang at first jus wan to throw his bottle into dustbin but we said CANNNOT la!
so he threw in and took out again...
disgusting sia... so wicked...
haha

Hardly i can get to sit down only during my 1hr break..
so my ankle abit swollen... stand too much... leg aching
I called dad den he said he is outside so he can come fetch me...
haha... my dad is so nice.. he still ask me eat dinner le ma..
den i said i ate at 5pm... so he drove to nearby mac bought mac home...
Also HAPPY BIRTHDAY FATHER!!!
STAY HEALTHY...
maybe im the youngest tats y my dad control n care for me more... haha
I got friends who care for me... i got family to love me... u dont love me nvm i go find others who can...

ton whole night and didnt get to slp at all..
at first i dont feel sleepy in the afternoon...
nighttime i started feeling ......
den i went crazyy abit...
keep laughing and talk nonsense...
but working with weichiang is fun cos i got someone to talk n crap to...
so the time will pass faster...
So far i got choco to eat from the counter besides me and coffee to drink opp me :D

Today OFF! haha.. damn tired so i sleep n sleep until 11am.. shiok..
Now i got myself a job though its jus selling choco, nougarts, pastry but i can interact with customers so its not a bad thing afterall... enhancing my social and communication skill...
it's important to Da Hao Guan Xi with the rest of counters...
I think this month i will work quite alot of days.. sometimes still need full shift... so it will cancel out the rest day... full shift work 10hr so can earn $70 a day
Saw this at twitter.... Quoted from Xstrology
-Pisces always gives more than they get...
-Pisces tend to be more concerned with other people problems then their own. Not because they are nosy but because they care.


If u dont like to read this kind of post u dont read..
I doubt u will read my blog also...

Ya la its your choice whether u wan to reply my msg...
just becos u dont have feeling for me
just becos u broke with me
U find that u have the rights to treat me like this...
So all along our friendship is so fragile?
jus becos we broke up its hard for us to be back gd fren?
from last time, u dont notice me...
maybe i just dont have any good attractive qualities to attract u
last time since when u have really sit down n tink what kind of person am i...
until when i confessed to u den u think...
Am i really such a bad gurl? no attractive qualities tat can attract u to look at me?

Now i know i dont know u at all...
What u are thinking/feeling... All i dont know since last time...
I thought u will treat me better as friend now cos u said u hurted me but NO!
I thought after broke up u will feel guilty and mibu me by caring and talk to me more but NO!
I rather like last time when we are gd fren... u would care even more...
Now even though we talk but jus abit... we are so stranger now...
I hate it u know...
I couldn't stand this...

Can u teach me to be so normal in the clique?
Teach me how to show that everything didnt happen and you can be so happy now...
U say u r guilty...
Are u sure anot...
dont always lie to me...

Jiang nan ting yi dian... I am just a toy to u...(though u said im not but u just make me feel im)
Sudden xintong and u accepted me...
tgth starting u are nice n sweet towards me...
when ur feeling started to fade off
you started to show attitude and sometimes ignore wad i asked u...
No more feeling u can just throw me away...
You dont know how to appreciate me nevermind i can go find someone who treat me like gold and not grass...
I could see u treat her like gold... cos u like her ma... ur feeling for her slowly build up...
Couldnt be couple be best fren... Ur treating to her is bias... becos she is not just ur bestfren but also someone u like...

You said everytime after work u are tired of msg/reply me
If u r tired of replying me den u can just tell me...
U go think abt it.. if its her who msg u, u will feel tired meh...
The last time i met u and supposely im going to say everything out but i failed...
If u saw this post u of cos super angry thinking why am i still digging out all these...
my heart is made from fresh.. im not cold blooded... i m super emotional person
No matter what this was my first relationship... U RUINED IT!
U think i can be so xiao sha just treat it as a game?
Though i said i promise not to bring it out again, i still have the freedom to say out how i feel...
U always broke ur promise so can i...
Since u ignored my msg tat i talked abt all these den i rather jus write it in my blog and next few yrs when i read back all my posts i will think that I am so so Silly last time...

I am angry and hate u until i wish to slap u but i still wan to thickskin care for u...
I think i really still need time to cool down...
jus make myself work n work n work and i will be fine and let go the past...
continue living my life and let nature takes its course to turn us back to gd fren...

Ok i didnt get the choco job...
sadded...
I think im currently down in luck...
i shld go Da xiao ren sia...

Monday meet up with Weichiang first, the kind soul...
cos he acc me down to see his agent...
so i meet him bus tgth..
and i asked him..' alot of ppl ma?'
becos 190 always very packed...
I said 'help me chop seat lei'.. haha im very aunty i know..
so i went to that agency... i see alot of very young agents...
so its my turn to go in 'interview'
that 'interview' didnt last for 10mins i tink
haha
he only asked me how long can i work?
wad kind of job im looking?
so i told him im looking for temp job cos i still dont know wad fulltime job i wan work...
so he smiled and said ohhh ok..
haha.. im so direct rite.. i tink when the agent heard wad i said he stunned...
so he's very friendly and tall.. haha
weichiang joke wif me say I fa hua chi liao...

After tat meet up with jieliy first at lot1...
went to popular cos she wants to change her name on her member card...
so we waited like 15mins?
meanwhile i saw very big O on the assessment book
so i went to flip thru Amath to search for that yr i took..
totally dont rmb those questions sia...

Up to the food court and fang reached first..
haha
den we sat at a big round table wif only 4 of us.. haha
den we discussing abt oversea trip..
batam? bali? jb? bangkok?
den jieliy said " I want to take plane"
den i forgot who say take plane to batam...
haha
i thought batam can only by ferry?
jieliy and me so wanting to go bangkok
den fang said " bangkok DANGEROUS NOW!"
Sadded :(
so weichiang said he wan to go macau to see ppl gamble...

Chat and Chat...
finally going 7...
so slowly walked to lot1 kbox which i nv been before
jus renovated not long ago...
the system also upgraded...
touchscreen with alot of functions...

Noone dare to start off...
so fang said " Lets O Ya Bei Ya Song"
Weichiang first
Me second
Jieliy third
Lifang Last

finally found someone who knows alot of songs...
and sing Shen Mu Yu Tong song wif me
and sing Dai Ai Ling song
Wa
Leow Weichiang!!! i found a competitor liao..
someone who fight wif me Dai Ai Ling's song...

&&&&&
Suddenly the tv blackout!!!
while weichiang singing
All of us shocked...
haha

10pm they chased us out le...
didnt sing enough...
shall meet up again for singing session...

Thanks ppl for the encouragement.. :D

&&&&&
If nothing goes wrong.. i will be working soon :D
Pray hard